Me: I like your nail polish. It’s really pretty.
C: Thank you! I just got this one at Walmart and it lasts so much longer than the more expensive ones.
Me: Well, the more expensive nail polish is for people who don’t work with their hands.
Me: I feel like all I ever have are teenage girl problems.
S: You’re a teenage girl.
M: Wait, Brenda are you interested in going into magazine publishing or investigative journalism?
Me: (“YES“) I don’t know. Maybe.
A: Don’t give her any ideas.
Me: Can I ask you something?
Me: Why won’t you talk to me?
Me: Good morning.
J: Hello. (pause) I guess you’re going to leave now because Kenny‘s over there.
Me: Don’t be silly.
Everyone: Aren’t you excited? Aren’t you?
Me: I am.